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To Understand, Not to Be Understood

This morning's therapist.  This spring, I was editing a book about teaching music in underserved communities. In one section, the author was writing about maintaining high expectations, and he quoted his own teacher, who said, "Teach everything you know, every day." That makes a lot of sense in the classroom. Even with beginners, we can probably teach everything we know about music, every day, from meter to meaning. But here's where it doesn't work: WITH PEOPLE.  I had a hard moment last week. Very hard. I was talking with a couple of family members, and they were explaining something that upset them about the family. They had feelings and they were sharing them. I felt that I understood, and immediately launched into older-wiser-splaining. I was trying to say, "Yes, I have felt that. But here's a broader perspective on that. Look at it this way." That's not how it came out. I think it came out something like this: "Blah blah blah blah blah

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