Quarantine Fresh Start Monday: Big Plans!!!!!!!!!!!!! Much Punctuation!!!!!!!!!!

Richards, like Pres. Obama and Charles Darwin,
did not observe early bedtimes. It's true. I read it.
Wooohoooo!!! It's the third Monday of Quarantine 2020!!!! I'm here with Team Sunshine at Casa Del Soul, and we're suuuuuuper excited to share that we are up and ready to crush it!!!! Faced with day 17 of a strange dry cough, and the president's new stay-at-home-until-your-51st-birthday order (I mean, isn't everyone's birthday April 30?), we can't wait to share our plans to finally get around to all the things we're going to finally do today!!!!! Girls and boys, raise your coffee pots!!!!!! Let's do this!!!!!!!!

Ok, I'll start.

1) Homeschool! Structure! It's never too late to set this same goal for the exactly 17th time since March 13: Children will wake by 9, quietly, calmly, and most importantly—willingly—study at the kitchen table til noon, at which point they will spend an hour helping with home chores, read books quietly, then watch a National Geographic documentary, then go outside and play for one hour, then offer to walk the dog, and then ask if they could help me make dinner instead of sitting on their arses with a device, then clean up dishes without being asked, and calmly without arguing pick out a family movie to watch 'til our very consistent bedtime. Post Facebook photos of them throughout the day to inspire others. We love our children!!!!!!! We do!!!!!!!!

Now with that out of the way, let's get to the good stuff. Because "not having enough time" is no longer a barrier.

2) Cycle training. The June Alzheimer's Century (100-mile bike ride) I signed up for is now cancelled. Consider Tokyo Summer Olympics 2020. Er, 2021.

3) Do more yoga!!!! Best time to start: When mad at dog.

4) Stop calling the dog "You Furry Little B$$#tch" every time I find another one of my suuuuuuper favorite-of-all-time stuffed animals in fluffy little pieces on the ground. Besides, he's a boy dog, which I think actually makes him a bastard, not a bitch. And he's suuuuuuuper cute. (Stop worrying about the dog. He's fine. We love him.)

5) In general, stop cursing in front of the children. That one will be hard because 13-year-old Soul Fry finds it funny, and some people are suckers for their children's laughter. Also, science: "Worried About Swearing Too Much? Science Says You Shouldn't Be." (Discover, Huff Post, and the auspicious Daily Mirror.)

6) Eat healthy! And we will, as soon as we finish the family-sized ice cream, marshmallows, hershey bars, graham crackers, Cape Cod potato chips, Spaghettio's, and beer that are on today's shopping list. Also, science: Actually science has nothing to add here.

It has to be true. I read it on a bumper sticker.
7) Cut down on alcohol calories!!!!!! As goals are most achievable when realistic, I will make this one a S.M.A.R.T. goal. That is:  Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-Bound.  Ok, so switch from beer to vodka at today's cocktail hour. (One Day at a Time. Take it Easy. First Things First.)

8) Start all 14 excellent book ideas you have. All at the same time. That also meets S.M.A.R.T. goal guidelines. (See above.) We have nothing but time.

9) Play bebop just like Charlie Parker. I can't say enough about this and I shall say no more.

10) Relearn and record that cool Irish jig I wrote last summer and make a video and post it on Facebook because that has broader appeal than my perfect children. Not that they aren't interesting. And perfect. And so beautiful I want to squeeze them 'til their eyes pop out. Important question: Are we still good with watching guitar players live on Facebook, or are we done with that?

11) Learn 10 new songs and add them to the Lindsays repertoire. Because 130 memorized songs are not enough. (Aren't you impressed with that guy? I am.) Consider performing one live on Facebook. (See above.)

12) Stop making to-do lists and find a thousand little opportunities for joy and enough-ness in the unknowable everyday.  (Dude. I said, ACHIEVABLE and REALISTIC.)

A blessed day to you all. Whatever that means.