I Swear Because I Care, Part 2: Reader Responses

"Stop writing and walk me." 
You have no idea
of the ear-splitting dog blather that
surged in the background
while I wrote this blog.
I will not tell you
what I think of 
my dog. 
He started this whole thing anyway.

After posting each morning, the rest of my day is given to Legos, feeding tortoises (DON'T ASK), threatening to take away electronic devices, and worrying about whether I insulted someone with this morning's blog. Adjusting, deleting, adding back in, and massaging. And responding to people who responded to me. Here's what they had to say on "I Swear Because I Care": 

Response 1. I disagree: God IS funny. [...] God does not equal church. Church does not equal God.

She's a minister; she spends every day all day trying to understand God and helping others to do the same. So she should know. I added back in one sentence I had taken out of the end of yesterday's blog: "Within the disbelief lies the seed of belief."

Response 2. "😊"

I love Barbara. (Did you know that even emojis can be italicized? I did not! Today's surprise!)

Response 3. "I'm laughing. But literary license: I never mentioned my house cleaner."

I know, I know. But I know. I hate cleaning. I want a housecleaner, too.

Reponse 4 (and I paraphrase). I don't care what the topic is. Just keep writing, and for God's sake, be funny. Speaking of which, I don't care if you do or do not write about God. Why do people care? Answer: Because of their own #$#$. The entire universe is available for comic review.  Every little thing.  

Ok fine. I hear you. I'll stop listening to people. Including you, smart @ss. Why do some writers feel that they need their readers' permission to address topics? See therapist.

Response 5. You're an atheist?

See #1, #4. 

Response 6-49: They haven't written back. They're too busy.

You think they read this stuff every day? Come on. Actually, they've unsubscribed. They were too insulted that 1) I wrote about god, 2) I wrote about housecleaning, 3) I wrote about saxophones, 4)  I had typos and used multiple exclamation marks, and 5) I swore too much.

All the same reasons that they subscribed in the first place.